What’s Your Excuse?

Although we are calling it a tri- class reunion

A tricorn hat no one needs.

You can leave your many awards at home

And medals for good deeds.

We will not be impressed by your vast wealth

Or number of college degrees,

But we do ask that you please stop referring to

Your jeans as "dungarees".

We promise it will not be like "Durand’s"

Where you might not get a table.

In fact we’d prefer that you sat down

For the Mexican hat dance (if not able).

You will not be ostracized if you don’t do the stroll,

Mashed Potato or attempt the Twist,

But please won’t you spare us the details of

The removal of your cyst ?!

We are not asking you to wear a poodle skirt,

Starched petticoats, bobbysox or saddle shoes.

Why, you can even get a drink at the bar

(Or, as we used to say, some "booze").

We do not care that your school book report

Had a plagiarized last page or

That your teeth, your job and your memory are gone

Or you’ve lied about your age.

We want you to know that the world will not starve

Just because you leave food on your plate.

And, you may bring anyone you want-

Homosexual or straight.

Boys, you can leave your stink bombs at home

Along with cootie catchers and your spitballs.

And please no hard luck stories that night

Of business failures or marital pitfalls.

No need to bring your beloved Ginny Doll,

No need to wear a Coonskin Cap-

Now that we all read the obituaries

And sometimes take a nap.

You don’t have to pincurl or sleep on brush rollers,

Don’t tease your hair ‘til bouffant.

You might want a wig, but forget the bee-hive,

Long sideburns?__Oh do what you want!

Just head to Lexington and "Happy Trails to You,"

We can guarantee no pain

If you don’t own a Porsche, just ride your bike.

No T-Bird? Well, take the train.

But, if you think you’re not getting enough

Sleep, S-E-X, or ready cash,

Keep it to yourself and girls, please

We’d rather not hear of your hotflash!

In closing, we hate to tell you, that if you are truant

We’ll have to call your mother.

You say that you have a good excuse?

Well, all we can say is "Oh Brother!"

Guess Who’s Coming To The Reunion

Did you get high with “Sky King”

Or lay low with “Boston Blackie?”

Are you still trying to “Beat The Clock”

Or is it “What’s My Line” that you play?

Do you remember Kate Smith

Singing God Bless America

Or The Lone Ranger and Tonto with

Truth, justice and the American way?

Have you been to Doodyville,

Used your desk as a fallout shelter,

Trekked across Crane’s Beach

Or entered the “Twilight Zone”?

Did you dance at the Belfry Club,

Shop at Smith’s Paper Store

Or have a party line

On your big black dial phone?

Were you a fan of the Princess

Summer-Fall-Winter-Spring,

Buster Brown, Amos and Andy

And perhaps a Mouseketeer?

Was your favorite Jack Benny,

Hop-A-Long Cassidy, Loretta Young,

Jerry Cologna, Burl Ives and

Its not quite clear-was Kilroy here?

Did you keep your Hula Hoop going,

Use a roller-skate key,

Go round and round at Wal-Lex

And have a one-speed bike?

Did your heart belong to Lassie

Or was it Alfred E. Newman?

Perhaps you wore a button

Saying “I  like Ike”.

Is your "Lovin’ Spoonful”

Now Metamucil?

Does a six pack mean beer

Not some silly “Abs of Steel”?

Are those Crayola colors

Now found in your pillbox?

Well, I just have to say that

We know how you feel!

So, we’ll ring the bell and sound the Shofar

(Sorry, you’ll have to get off the sofa).

We’ll all get merry for a very low fee

And YOU are the one coming to the reunion, you see.

40(+) years since Lexington High – Oh My!!

Just keep your chin(s) up and hold your banner high.

(As for Saddam, Osama and all intifadahs-

Just send in the “Three Amigos” with a plethora of pińatas.)